My Light
by Kagasha
Summary: Long Oneshot: Sora and Riku are high school students at the same high school. One night studying with Sora starts a chain reaction of heart break, distress, and confusion. Riku doesn't know how to bear with the spontaneous event and is wrapped in disorder
1. Riku's Story

**Well this fanfic is a lot of firsts for me. It's my first one shot, my first 1st pov story, my first kingdom hearts fanfic, and my first sora x riku fanfic. Like I said before this is kind of a long fanfic. But unlike other one shots where they have a quick bang bang out of nowhere, this one actually has a source to the bang bang, lolz. I hope you guys enjoy it because I enjoyed writing it.**

**_--...--_**

**_My Light_**

There it was again and it brought him along as well. I continued to see it almost every class period, but it had never bothered me. Last period it was beside me, but now it was two seats ahead. It stood high, the spiky brown hair never falling. The hair had a very familiar owner, an owner I had known for years and continues to grow on me. Sora. I always pondered on how he managed to mantain such spikes, but I never received an answer. I now don't want an answer. I'd rather let my mind do it's work and imagine.

It was 11th period, the long school day was almost over with 45 minutes till the dismissal bell rang. I was drowsy by now and I didn't care for a thing the teacher was saying. He never got my attention, but yet I continued to pass. So I guess ignoring the hell out of him was a quick and easy A. Sora was in his seat in front of me, doing the complete opposite of what I was doing. He constantly stayed alert and focus, but he always found time to laugh and joke with others. His eyes were on the teacher, listening to every word as he wrote down notes. The seat beside him was empty. That seat was usually occupied by Kairi. I waited to ask him about it while we were walking home. But at that very moment, I was beyond bored so I fell asleep.

We were close to home. Sora was walking barefoot, his black and yellow shoes in his hands. I smiled, he loved to wear those shoes even though they really didn't match with the navy blue and white uniform we had. He looked over at me, noticing my smile.

"Why the warm smile?"

"Just noticing you're fascination with those shoes."

He smiled bright, his blue eyes squinting. I couldn't help, but smile wider, Sora's smile was just contagious. Sora turned his bright eyes towards me, "I can't help but wear them. They're my fav."

"I figured. You know what happened to Kairi?"

His bright eyes died for a minute. What happened to her? "She got sick after that swim we had last night. I kinda feel like I made her sick because I wanted her to swim with me." I flung my arm around him and pulled him close. His body loosened and he leaned into my touch. Mmm, his body was so warm, it was never warm like this before.

"It's not your fault." I turned our bodies to head to a different direction. I no longer felt like going home. "Let's go to visit. Maybe you won't feel so bad." I felt him snuggle closer to me as we walked to Kairi's. Why was he pressed to me harder than usual? We usually had some distance between us, but now there was nothing. Sigh. I didn't bother to ask, nor did I really want to.

We made it to Kairi's after that slow yet warm walk over there. She was out back in her banana hammock, staring up into the sky in her lime green blanket. She hadn't heard us come through the sliding door nor heard our bare feet scrape against the grass. But Sora made our presence known. "Kairi!!"

She almost fell out the hammock in response to his voice. "Sora!! Riku!!" I smiled slightly. Her voice was always nice to hear. I shoved my hands into uniform pants and grinned as she got out of the hammock, blanket in tow. She gave Sora a quick hug and a peck on the cheek. I noticed Sora blush. I chuckled to myself, Sora could never hide his feelings for her. It was funny to see him act that towards her. The hug and kiss I received was longer than nessacary. It seemed like she was hugging me forever and her kiss lasted a few seconds. Unlike Sora I didn't blush.

I left early...if 11pm was early. Every time we stayed at each others' house, we'd stay for hours; it's something like a routine for us. I forgot what we were talking about. All I remember is the sky, the darkness, and the small beam of moonlight.

I did my homework, but I kept getting bumbarded with the walk with Sora. What made that walk any different than the others? Why had he held me so close...and why hadn't I spoke up or just seperated myself from him? Damn it, if only I had the answers to these questions. I tried my hardest to ignore the haunting questions and flashbacks, but I failed miserably. Even when I was done my homework and was trying to go to sleep they were still there. I was tired of thinking about the questions. I was tired of thinking about him. I hoped tomorrow was any better.

It was better if I didn't include our late night studies together. We had a geometry exam coming up and I knew the only way I was going to pass was to study with the attentive brunette. We were in his room; I had been there plenty of times the room felt like my own. I was sitting upright with about two of his pillows holding me up when I heard a book slam. I turned to find out what it. It was Sora. He was now leaning forward towards me and smiling. I smiled back at him and before I could ask him what he was smiling about, he spoke. "You ever wonder if there's anything else out there?"

I was taken aback by that question. "Out there like what?"

"Anything beyond Destiny Island. Like other worlds and stuff?"

I put my book down and combed my fingers through my hair. I felt his eyes on me the entire time. "Sometimes. Like, I know we're not the only ones out here. The universe lasts forever; there has to be at least one planet similar to Earth."

"I was thinking the same thing." He got up from the bed and looked out the window. I waited for him to say something. "Sometimes I just look out this window just wondering if I could go to any of those worlds. To talk with the people there and see if they have ever wondered about other worlds too." I heard him sigh and after that sigh we sat in silence. I looked at him still leaning over the window and I shrugged. He was stuck in a trance it seemed and I wasn't going to break hm from it so I just decided to get back to studying. That's what I was here for anyway.

After a few minutes, I heard foot steps and since I didn't look up, I suggested Sora was just walking back over to the bed to study as well. But then out the corner of my eye, I seen him standing beside me. Just standing. I looked up. His eyes met with mine and the whole situation was awkward. This really wasn't helping with me trying to forget what happened yesterday. He took the book out of my hands and dropped it on the floor, now taking the book's previous position. He placed his hands on my chest and I felt them shaking rapidly. I looked into his face and he had a deep blush on his face. What was he planning on doing? I waited for him to continue.

He was breathing heavily and his warm breathe swept across my face and neck. Good thing his breathe smelled good or I would've coughed. He leant his body forward and now our faces were centimeters apart. His breathe was warmer. His eyes were close to closed and he was looking down. I was still wondering what he was planning on doing, but I had a clue. I was just going to wait and see if my idea was true. Sora lifted his head and looked at me, but his eye lids were still heavy.

I was getting impatient. I wanted him to hurry up. "Hurry up with whatever you're going to do."

He gulped. He closed his eyes completely and kissed me. I was right. His hands were shaking more now and I felt his body shake as well. I could tell he was nervous, from exactly what I don't know. His lips left mine and he stared at me. He sighed and went to kiss me again. This time...I kissed him back. I felt his spiky hair glide across my forehead and it was so soft. I pulled him close. That simple hug ignited something in both of us and our lips just lunged at each other, wanting to feel and taste everything they could. I licked his lips and he opened his mouth and I searched like crazy. I tasted the sea salt ice-cream he had earlier. My tongue attacked his and he pressed his body onto mines.

Where did this come from? What made either one of us do this? Why was my body so hot for my friend? Why did my friend have to be a boy? A boy...

That last thought made me tense up and I quickly pushed Sora off my lap. He landed on his back, his upper body propped up by his forearms and his legs bent and spread apart. He looked shocked. I grabbed all my books and papers, threw them into my bag, and left, slamming the door shut behind me. I said my good-byes to his mother and was on my way home when I heard sandy foot steps charging after me. I didn't turn to find out who it was. I felt a hand grab at my left arm and it managed to stop me from going home.

"Riku..." It was Sora once again. I don't know why, but he always ran after me. I could just be standing there and he'd run for me. But despite knowing who it was, I still didn't turn around to look at him. His hand trailed down to my hand and he clasped it with both of his hands. He began to rub my knuckles. "Riku...come back and study with me." I heard pain in his voice. Sorrow. I still didn't turn around. I lifted my head and began to walk. To my surprise, he walked with me, clenching my hand tight like a kid does with his mother. "Please come back and study with me." I wanted to go back and study, just to study, but I knew we wouldn't study. Studying was far from his mind and I knew it...I think. Maybe he just wanted me to be there...but it didn't matter. I still wasn't going back. I continued to walk home. My hand escaped his and that's when I knew he wasn't walking with me anymore.

I made it home and I got into a sudden rage. I ignored my mother and father when I walked in. I threw my bookbag across my room and broke a small lamp. I ran to the nearest wall and punched it over and over and over, bruising the knuckles Sora's fingers just massaged. I stopped punching the wall and stood there, breathng heavily and still angry. I had to hit something. I wanted something to break. I kicked my bed countless times and when I was tired of that, I went to punch the wall again. I didn't immediately notice the foot steps coming to my room, but when I heard them, I thought of Sora again and it caused me to punch harder.

My door opened and I seen my silver haired mother. She ran to me and held me from behind. "Stop it Riku...calm down." Her voice was always soothing, I think that's what she used to do when I was a baby. My punches began to stop and I stood there, motionless. "You calm?" I nodded. She let me go and I guess she noticed the lamp because she cursed under her breath. "I guess you'll be sitting in darkness for a while. Damn, that lamp was expensive Riku. And you had it since you were a baby. Damn it!!" Sometimes, I swear we were exactly alike with the anger. But she calmed down faster than me. "Well, enjoy the darkness until I can get a new lamp for you." She walked out the room and lightly shut the door behind her.

I was tired of being awake. I needed to see dreams, not reality. I undressed into a wife beater and boxers and fell asleep in record time.

I wished I didn't have so many classes with him. I wanted to avoid him, I didn't want to look into his eyes. But everywhere I turned, I happened to catch the blue eyes staring at me. I was getting that for the past five days. Due to him staring at me with every chance he got, he wasn't so attentive. His pencil rarely touched the paper. One time I was walking past his desk to turn a paper in and I seen him writing...at least that's what I thought at first. He was drawing. It wasn't too good, but the idea came across. It shown so much pain and tears. The picture shown me stabbing his heart with a key and the picture was titled: Key to My Heart. I shook and I didn't ask him about it either.

Our studying stopped and so did our walks home. Well I knew Sora wanted to walk home with me, he stood at our meeting spot every day. I walked right past him every day and didn't look back. So I guess I killed our studying and walks home. I didn't want to be near him when my mind wasn't right. But that idea just made me guilty. We were friends...we should talk about everything and anything together. We always have. But talking about that person to that person about a topic like that was just weird.

I couldn't deal with it.

It was raining that night and I was studying alone. It wasn't the same as studying with Sora, but it was studying. It was raining heavily; lightning cracked and thunder boomed. I was flipping through the pages of my text book, trying to understand what the book was trying to tell me when I got to those pages. Pages 1181 and 1182, yes it was a very thick book. The very pages I was on when Sora took the book from me. Instead of seeing the math equations, I seen his face. I threw the book and held my chest. I felt my heart beating faster than normal. I swear, it felt like Sora was possessing my heart, my mind, my everything. I couldn't even look through a damned text book without seeing his face. I had to see him.

With just a t-shirt and some khaki cargo shorts, I ran out the house. I told my parents I was going to Sora's on my way out. I didn't want to hear them ask my why. The usually warm sand was cold and damp and it stuck to the bottom of my feet. The rain smacked my face with the wind helping it out. It seemed like the weather was trying to stop me. Maybe I should've listened, but I didn't.

I stood on Sora's porch, soaked and panting like a crazed dog. I pounded on the door. In no time, Sora's mother answered the door. "Oh my god Riku. Come in. What are you doing out in the rain with barely anything on?" That's what I wanted to avoid with my own parents. Well if I wasn't going to get it there, I was going to get it from my third parent. I ignored most of her questions as I walked into the house.

"Sora's here?"

"Of course, he's in his room. Does your parents know that you're gone?"

I nodded.

"Ok."

I ran up the stairs and barged through Sora's door. He was lying on his bed staring up at the ceiling. I pounced on him and I guess I startled him because he looked like a scared cat. "Riku..."

"Shut up."

I unzipped and unbuttoned everything until both of us lie on the bed naked. I threw his legs onto my bare shoulders and chuckled to myself at his flat body. But my smile soon faded as I grabbed my erection and shoved it deep into Sora. He screamed loud and I covered his mouth with my hand. "Didn't I tell you to shut up?!" Sora nodded. "Ok then, so do what I say."

I slid out, nearly escaping his tight passage, and dove back into him. It was dry at first, but soon it moistened up and I slid in and out with ease. I kept banging him, driving his body deeper and deeper into the bed with every thrust. I moved my hand away from his mouth, satisfied that he was no longer screaming. Instead of the screaming, he was moaning and arching his back, waiting for the next thrust to send him further over the edge.

"Riku...mmmm."

"Shut up."

He stopped for a minute, only to moan my name again. "Riku..."

"Shut up!!" I put my hand back on his mouth so I couldn't hear him. I didn't want to hear him. I didn't want to hear another man scream my name. It made me angry. Now instead of the annoying moans, I had to see him wriggle and writhe underneath me. Damn it, I didn't even want to see him. I moved my hand from his mouth and turned his body around so he was on all fours. I didn't break away from him the entire time. Since I couldn't cover his mouth with my hand, I palmed the back of his head and pushed his head into the covers. I didn't care for his breathing. Breathing wasn't of any importance to me.

I kept digging deeper into him, weirdly loving the sensation his body gave me. After a few more thrusts, I didn't feel his body grind up against me anymore and he wasn't moving much. That's when I decided to bring his head back up. He gasped for air and looked like a fish out of water. I let him take a few more breaths and his head was driven back into the sheets. I wasn't going to give him a chance to say my name again...not if I could help it.

I felt him tighten around me and I felt his body wriggle differently than he did before. This time I thrusted in harder. I heard him muffle a scream, but it was better than hearing the direct scream. I slammed in again. He screamed again. I slammed in again. He screamed again and with this scream, his body buckled and he collasped. He released himself on the bed, some of it hit the bottom of his chin. But I wasn't done yet. Not even close. I grabbed his hips and thrusted like a maniac. Despite me not wanting to hear him or see him, I stayed there and I kept on fucking him. And it felt damn good. I fucked my friend like crazy and I didn't want to let go of his small frame. Everything was feeling good and out of nowhere, I came in him. I didn't scream, yell, yelp, growl, nor moan when I did it. Right now, screaming another man's name was for bitches and Sora was a bitch. My bitch.

I escaped him, put my clothes on, and left without a word to him. I didn't want to feel him in my arms as I said sweet nothings in his ear. No. That wasn't what I planned to do.

The weather was raging when I stepped out and I felt like it was angry at me. Like it was mad at me for fucking Sora. I stopped. As I stood there, I decided to go to me and Sora's favorite spot by the bent palm tree. I couldn't face my parents right now...not like this. I got to the tree and sat down on the bench shaped tree. I couldn't stop thinking about him. Sora never flooded my mind like this before. And like with the kiss, I had a lot of questions.

Why did I fuck him? I swear I didn't want to fuck him, but that's what I did. Fucking was one step from rape to me. If Sora would've screamed, I would've thought I was raping him. But that's not why I shut him up. I felt like my masculinity was in jeopardy when I heard him moaning my name. It wasn't...I don't even know anymore. I held my face in my hands. The rain poured down, soaking my silver hair. I lifted my head and seen the moonlight. It reminded me of Sora. Damn it, where the hell did these feelings come from? One night I'm just his friend and the next I'm his questionable lover. This all was coming from nowhere, but oddly...I didn't want them to leave. Could I be...in love with Sora? And if I am than why did these feelings just show their face? Or was I just surpressing these feelings before? No...I couldn't love Sora...not like that. Why was he so ready to kiss me? Did Sora love me this whole time? Was he just blushing at Kairi just to hide his feelings? Is he bi?

I took my hands off my face and realized there was a brown strand criss-crossed through my fingers. I knew it was his. Now that I remember, when I grabbed his hair, his hair was dry and crinkly. It was soft a few days ago when we kissed. What was going on with him? I hope I wouldn't break him so much where he did something drastic.

My head began to hurt. I had too many questions and they were all coming at once. I didn't want to think about it anymore. I seemed to have been doing that lately; not wanting to think. My thoughts were becoming my enemy so I had to try and stop thinking which I knew was completely impossible.

I tried to avoid Sora more than I had before. I couldn't face him anymore, not after what I did. I was feeling really guilty for it. I mean, I almost killed him. I had him gasping for air all because of my selfish need to not hear him. What was taking over me? I knew it wasn't love, love wouldn't make me suffocate him. I guess I was being selfish and needy.

One random day, the sun was out, bright as always, but I was inside. I didn't want to go out. But I soon heard a knock on my door, it was very soft and barely audible. I told the person to come in. To my surprise, Sora stood in the doorway.

"You sure you want me to come in?"

I wanted to say no, but I couldn't deny him. "Come in."

I got up from the bed and sat down in a wooden chair near my window. Sora sat down on my bed, nervous again and shaking. He fiddled with his thumbs and didn't speak. All I heard was his shaky breathing. His spike hair was dull and it wasn't in its perfect shape. I realized I was thinking about his hair a lot. It seemed like I was fascinated with his hair as he was to his shoes. He stopped fiddling with his thumbs and looked up at me. Sigh, what was wrong with him? He sighed heavily and started.

"I'm sorry for ever forcing you into something you didn't want to do. I shouldn't have kissed you that night. I should've asked you before I did it. That was my mistake. Since then, I've been losing you and I don't want that. If it has to be, I want things to go back to normal. But I don't want it to be like it used to be. I...I want...I want to be with you Riku. I know that sounds odd and you'll probably hate me later, but I love you. And...I couldn't think of saying it to you earlier so I just had to kiss you and I'm sorry. So..." He stood up, walked over to me, and held his hand out, "Friends?" He asked with a weak smile. I extended my hand out to him and grabbed it tight.

"Friends."

He smiled and like always, I smiled. I don't know why, but something inside me told me to do something else. Do something more. And I did, I took my other hand, lightly held the back of his head, and pulled him down to my lips. It felt good, yet wrong as before. But it didn't stop me like last time. I deepened it, pressing his lips closer to mine, and started to tongue him down. His taste was delicious, almost like the pomegranate my mother always bought. I let go of his hand and pulled him to my chest. He was now sitting on my lap. It felt so damn good to feel his lips on mine again. It was electric the first time and it somehow got better this time. When we parted for air, he looked at me for a while.

"Riku...why? I thought..."

I placed my fingerrs on his lips and I soon replaced them with my lips. I felt his hands cup my face and he kissed me deeper. Then I felt something wet hit my cheeks. I opened my eyes and noticed he was crying. I didn't bother to ask. I didn't want to ruin the moment.

I lifted up the back of his shirt and traced circles on his lower back, coaxing him to moan in my mouth. Sigh, I love his moans. They were so sweet, so innocent, and so daring. I mean, how many guys would be doing this right now? Sora was always ready for new things and open to anything, so I guess he was bravery than most.

We parted again and we just stared at each other. Our stares couldn't be broken. I felt his thumb gently rub my face and I closed my eyes to the touch.

"I always loved your eyes...so green..."

I could only smile at his comment.

Even though I loved that day and continued to think about it, I refused to go see him again. My heart and mind were in denial again. I didn't want to face the fact that I could possibly be gay. So to make me feel better, to make me feel more male, I fucked Kairi. Yup, I fucked her every chance I got. She liked me anyway so how much harm could it have done? And she loved it. I would usually go to her house after school and depending on my mood, I'd either fuck her in her room, out back, on the couch and in the kitchen if her parents weren't home, out on the beach, anywhere!! And she'd always smile, like she had been waiting for me to do it to her since forever. I'd stay on top, I felt better that way. Besides she seemed to not have a problem with it.

I let her scream my name as loud as she wanted. I'd let her squirm all day and pull my hair when she was about to come. One thing I didn't let her do was kiss me. I didn't want her to taste Sora. No...Sora's taste belonged to me and only me.

One day on our usual sexual sessions, I felt empty. I felt so hollow and it was uncomfortable. I thought I wasn't doing her right, so I dug deep in her. But the feeling never left. It felt like my heart was aching for something that Kairi wasn't giving me.

That day was our last day. I no longer wanted to be in her anymore and I knew it hurt her, but yet again I had to do that for me, not anyone else.

I became closer to Sora than I wanted to be. But it wasn't physical, it was emotional. We shared a locker together since we got to that school and Sora always left a lot of his papers and stuff in there. I was digging through the locker, trying to get some papers and books I needed for my next class, when I was attacked by a load of papers. Good thing none of them fell on the floor or Sora's reputation would've been destroyed. He had drawings and poems and countless other things pertaining to me and him. He had some optimistic things, and some the polar opposite. I seen the old picture, _Key to My Heart_. He was really hurting. I could literally feel his pain and feel him crying as he drew and wrote all of this. I didn't know I could hurt somebody so much. I've hurt him before, but nothing close to this. I wanted to apologize, but my ego wouldn't let me. So after staring over every picture, poem, and short story, I stuffed them back into the locker and arrived to class 15 minutes late.

It was Saturday, a day me and Sora would race around the beach. I knew we wouldn't do it, but something was aching at me to find out what he was doing with his time. I combed my fingers through my hair and left the house. The sun was still out bright even though it was getting late. I made it to Sora's in no time. I was going to knock on the door, but I didn't want to make my presence known. So I climbed up a palm tree to his room. I used to climb up to his room when I'd run away from home. I crouched down and hid behind the big green leaves of the palm tree as I watched him. I felt like a stalker, but it didn't matter. I needed to see what he was doing.

I witnessed him scribbling on a filled piece of paper. I seen his chest rise then fall and he stood up, letting the piece of paper lie on the bed. His body jumped, I guess he sniffed. He flopped down onto the floor, his legs spread apart. He cupped his face and hicupped a few times. He wiped his eyes and looked down at the floor as he began to talk. The window was wide open so I heard everything.

"I remember when I first seen your silver hair. I laughed because it was so weird. But you laughed at me because of my spiky hair. We laughed at each other. I knew we would be close and we have been since. We would sit near our tree and just talk. We would see who could swim the farthest before the other got tired. But now, we don't do anything. I wait for you every day to walk with me home and you never acknowledge me. One time I did follow you and noticed you at Kairi's. But you didn't go there to play a game or watch a movie. You guys went out back and..." He cried harder and coughed. He didn't wipe away his tears. "You two were having sex. You didn't shut her up, you didn't turn her around. You even let her pull your hair." He sniffed. "I want to touch your haiirr." Sora cupped his face and cried hysterically. He was about to say something, but his tears wouldn't let him.

I was broken. Just seeing him cry over me like that tore me apart inside. He just wanted me to be with him, if not a lover than a friend and I denied him both. _I want to touch your hair_. That sentence went through my mind so many times. He just wanted to touch my hair. Something so simple. I held my chest, my heart was hurting so bad. I was about to descend down the tree when I heard him say something. "You were there since the beginning. But now that you're gone, what's left of me? What's left of me now?"

I got down the tree as fast as I could. I couldn't hear anymore of it. If I did, my heart would've burst in my chest. I wanted to make him feel better, but I didn't. I had another idea.

The day after that heart wrenching show, I ignored him and the day after that I ignored him. I tried to make it seem like I hadn't seen him. I wanted to just completely surprise him.

Tuesday came and I noticed Sora only staring me in 2nd and 5th period. He didn't look at me any other time. But that was fine. I didn't worry about it.

School was over for the day. I had gotten all the things I needed from my locker to take home. When I walked out the school doors and seen Sora standing at our meeting spot. He was looking around, I guess searching for me. I walked past him, all the while feeling his eyes on me, and walked a few yards before stopping. I turned to him and strectched my hand out in his direction. He seen me reaching for him and in no time he was running towards me. It seemed like he was running in slow motion, pushing past all the physical obstacles in his path. Instead of grabbing my hand, he hugged me tight and buried his face into my chest. One of my hands went to the back of his head, the other went to the middle of his back, pulling him closer. I heard him sniff and noticed that my shirt was getting soaked. I felt him gently touch my hair; he had fulfilled his dream. I just petted his hair before speaking. "You want to walk home with me?" I wanted to make sure if he really did want to walk with me. I had to make sure that he still wanted me because I wanted him.

Sora looked at me with watery blue eyes. "Yes please," he said as nodded his head.

I smiled and kissed his forehead. I didn't care who seen me. I didn't care for any of that anymore. It didn't bother me. I turned towards the direction of our houses and began walking. Sora immediately grabbed my hand as we walked. I guess he didn't want to lose me again. And I didn't want to lose him either so I held his hand tight.

We walked home together and it was nice. He took his shoes off again and walked barefoot. He smiled and I smiled with him. But I knew he'd be smiling wider later on.

I asked Sora to come over and he happily obliged. We made it to my house and I didn't hear a sound. Good, my parents weren't home. Sora dropped his shoes by the door and looked around the house. "You remember when we were small and we used to jump all over the couches?" I smiled.

"Yea I remember. We used to always get in trouble for it."

"And your mom used to get mad because we would get sand all on the couch."

We laughed. Sora held his stomach and laughed harder. "Get your dirty feet off my sofa. Sora I swear I'll give you such a beating. And you Riku, I'll make sure you never sit again!!" I laughed harder. He was good at mocking my mother. I sat on the couch and slowly stopped laughing. Sora caught his breath and stopped laughing as well. He sat down beside me. "Good times huh?"

I nodded. "Yea."

There was silence again. Sora put his hands behind his head and looked at the ceiling. I looked into his eyes. They were so bright, so happy, so optimistic. I wonder what he would say about my eyes. I turned my body to face him and licked my lips. "What do you see in my eyes?"

"Your eyes?"

"Yeah, what do you see? What do you think about when you look into them?"

Sora seemed to not even think about it. He just began to talk. "The sea. Not just its sea green color, but everything else about them. Sometimes they could be raging and something you don't want to coss paths with. But than you have the calm beautiful sea that you want to just dive in and swim in forever. That's what I think about when I look in your eyes."

I smiled. "Really?"

Sora smiled back and nodded.

I couldn't resist. I pulled him onto my lap and devoured him. My tongue grazed over every tooth. It lapped and smacked his tongue as it invaded my own mouth. My hands gripped his butt and I felt him yelp in my mouth. I parted from his lips and opened my eyes to see a pouting Sora. I smirked. "You like it when I do that?" He nodded hastily and hungrily dove down to kiss me again. His tongue immediately went into my mouth and I felt it tickle the roof of my mouth. God, he felt so good. I gripped his butt again and he let out a soft moan in my mouth. His fingers slid across my face like satin and went to my hair. I guess we were both fascinated with each others hair. One of things we seemed to be attracted to since the beginning.

My hands held him tighter and I traced the circles in his back like I did before. I swallowed another moan. I was getting an instant erection and I bucked my hips up, grinding our cocks together. Sora quickly took his lips off of mine and inhaled through clenched teeth. "Again Riku...again..." Damn, his begging was a massive turn on. I rocked my pelvis into his countless times and he began to whimper and scream. I looked into his face and enjoyed his reddened cheeks. He was panting like a dog and he was staring down at our groin waiting for me to buck and give him more pleasure.

But I didn't buck again. I instead opened up every button of his slowly, enjoying the sections of his chest revealing itself with every slip of the button. Sora enjoyed every bit of it and bit his lip anxiously. If it was up to me, I would've ripped the damned thing off and just sexed him up like a dog on the couch. But no. I knew Sora would want it slower due to last time and I could tell he was the slow type. I was going to please his needs this time, not my own. I was feeling less selfish. I held the back of his neck with my right hand as I gently slid the white shirt off his thin frame.

I kissed and nibbled his neck and felt him grab my hair tight. Having his fingers in my hair felt good. As I left multiple hickeys and bruises on his neck and collar bone, I began to undo his navy blue pants. When they were undone, I felt his erection bounce out and smack my fingers. I could only chuckle. "Stand up for me."

Sora quickly obliged and stood up to slide his pants down when I stopped him. "I'll do it." He blushed deeper than I thought possible. I leaned forward and lightly bit his belly button as his pants fell to the floor, the belt buckle jingling. I reached behind him, my fingers sliding against his soft butt, and pulled down his yellow and black boxers. They landed on top of the pants and revealed his manhood. I had to give it to him, he was bigger than I thought. I lowered my head down and nipped at his narrow hips, also leaving bruises there. Sora's body was going to be definitely marked as mine before the day was out.

Even though this was Sora's day, his day to be selfish, I decided not to blow him. I wasn't that comfortable and I may never be. Maybe he won't notice from all the other spots I'll be biting and sucking on.

I left his hips aching and bruised as I let him watch me undress. I felt his eyes glued on me as my fingers danced around my belt buckle, unbuttoned my pants, and slid the uniform pants down. I was about to pull down my boxers when Sora spoke.

"...green..."

I looked down and noticed that my boxers were green, about the same color as my eyes. I guess Sora was also addicteds to my eyes as well. I smirked lustfully and continued to pull my boxers down. I heard Sora inhale heavily as this was his first time actually seeing it. Last time, he was only filled with it. I couldn't help comparing both of our erections as I kicked off the pool of clothes at my ankles. I was about I'd say two inches bigger than Sora and a lot thicker. Sora's was ok. But it really didn't matter because he really wouldn't be digging into me anytime.

"Come here." He was on his way over, but nearly tripped over the puddle of cotton and polyester at his ankles. I laughed loudly, I couldn't help it. "Take them off silly." Sora gave me a lopsided smile as he bent over to be ridden of his clothes. He sat on my lap when he was done and stared into my eyes. I played with his spiky hair for a while.

This moment...this...was love. I was...in love. That thought rushed at me so fast and almost knocked me over. I never thought in a million years I'd feel like this. And definitely not with a boy, my best friend and enemy. I held him close an nuzzled his face with mine. I loved him. I can honestly say that I have feelings beyond the norm with him. My heart was in pain when he was in pain. I was happy when he was happy. I smiled when he smiled. It was like we were one, tied together. I inhaled his scent. It was intoxicating. I stopped nuzzling his face and placed my forehead on his. "I love you."

His blush almost spread to his entire face. His eyes watered almost instantly as he sniffed. "Really?"

"No joke."

He sighed. "I love you too."

We kissed a few times. "You ready for me to take you to another world?"

"Which one?"

"You'll see. Are you ready to go?"

He caught on to what I was saying and smiled sheepishly. "Yeah."

I wrapped my arm around his waist and laid him down on the couch like a fragile baby. I kissed his lips before I got up, heading for the stairs.

"Where are you going?"

"To get some lube."

"...oohh..."

I ran upstairs and went into my parents room. I knew they'd have some stashed somewhere. I slid open a little sliding door near my father's dresser and found it with all their other sex toys. I shivered. I really didn't want to think about what they do hn they shut the door. I quickly snatched the lube and ran downstairs to see Sora laying on his stomach staring into space.

"Got it," I said as I waved the bottle in the air.

I went over to the couch and flipped him over. I put his legs up on my shoulder, squeezed some lube into my hand, and smoothed it in and around his entrance. He cringed. "What's wrong?"

"It's cold."

I smiled and tossed the lube somewhere. I was about to enter him when he spoke. "I won't say anything this time."

I paused. I swept his spiky hair away from his forehead and sighed. "Don't worry about it. Do what you want." He exhaled heavily and smiled.

"You ready?"

He nodded. I looked down, positioned myself near him, and slowly went in.

"AAHH!!"

I stopped. I didn't know it was going to hurt that bad. "What's wrong?"

"It...it still hurts from last time. You left me a bit scarred up."

"Oh...I'm sorry."

"Just go a little slower."

I nodded and went slower than I did earlier. He sucked his teeth and threw his head back. He didn't tell me to stop, which was good because if I had to go any slower I would've went crazy. I leaned forward, his toes meeting my hair. When I was finally in, I pulled back out slowly. I didn't want to hurt him. I heard him moan softly and I couldn't help, but hit him deep. That moan was everything. I loved his moans. He moaned again, I pulled out slowly only to crash land back into him. His moans were fueling my fire. I wanted to hear him moan and I wanted to see him squirm.

So I went a little faster just so I could get more squirms and moans from him. And that's what I got. I dug deep and arched his back, giving me another one his beautiful moans. He was panting, tongue hanging out a little over his bottom lip. I bent down and licked his tongue. His tongue responded by licking mine. Licking his tongue was odd, but it felt good. Just like this whole situation. It was odd and new, but it was worth it. I left his tongue to hang limb as I intertwined my fingers with his and held them on the sides of his head. He rubbed my knuckles like he usually does.

I was going strong for a while, rocking my hips back and forth when I heard him scream. "What?"

"...again..."

"Huh?"

"Hit...again...please..."

I understood his broken language and rocked my hips so I'd hit his spot. He moaned every time. I had to pick up the pace, this slow thing was agonizing. My skin was starting to smack up against his, making an echoing clapping sound through out the house. He grabbed my hair and pulled it tight. I didn't feel him clench up like last time so I knew he wasn't coming. Maybe he just wanted to do it since last time. Maybe he just wanted to be like Kairi. But I was going to give him more than I ever gave Kairi. I pushed his legs closer to his head and pounded the tight entrance. I looked at him and seen his eyes closed tight with sweat sliding down his flushed face. He was biting his lip and still clenching onto my hair.

I leaned over, my nose touching his, and kissed him. His fingers left my hanging bangs only to gently hold the back of my head. I continued to rock my hips and hit his sweet spot as my tongue went into its familiar hiding spot. His mouth was warmer than before and his breathe danced with my tongue every time he breathed. I left his angel lips and focused on getting as deep as I could while still hitting his spot. I was starting to pant like him now and sweat eased its way down my face and splashed on his stomach. I held his legs and coaxed him to push his body into me when I slammed in. I looked down at his sweaty body and marveled it. He was glistening with sweat and the sunlight coming in from the window made his body shine. His chest was rising and falling rapidly, his breathing was irregular. His blue eyes were covered with lust as one was completely shut and the other was half way opened. And with every mind blowing thrust, his body jerked, his hair bouncing, and let out one of those moans.

"Riku...ah Riku..."

His voice was slickened with sex and he could barely utter out a complete sentence. I loved every bit of it.

I kept driving deep, his head slightly banging the arm of the couch. We had a lot of memories on this couch. I guess we'd have to chalk another memory up.

I felt his insides tighten and release in a certain rhythm and he began to grab at anything he could reach. He ended up pulling my long bangs again. His body thrusted up against mine.

"Ahh Riku Riku Riku Riku AH!!"

He exploded. Most of his fluids fell onto his flat torso. Some fell on his chest and a little droplet landed on his cheek. A few drops hit me in my chin. I swear the boy had a heavy load. His body was shaking uncontrollably. He was trying to catch his breathe. Just seeing him come all over himself in such a heated orgasm made me growl a cave man version of his name. I fell like a rag doll on his chest and his now limb legs fell to my side. We exhaled, our breathe mixing into air, and we inhaled each others breathe.

Sora grabbed the back of my head and held me tight. He fiddled with strands of my hair as we slowly caught our breathe. I lifted my head up sluggishly and looked at him with a sly grin. "You liked the new world you went to?"

He blushed and nodded.

"We can go again if you want."

Sora could only smile and play with my hair some more. My head fell back on his shoulder. I was drained. This was nothing like last time. I shivered. I wish I could just forget about that day. It made me feel real dirty. Speaking of dirty... "Sora, come on. We gotta clean up." I took my clothes and tossed the over my shoulder. "Get your clothes and put em in my room."

"Kay."

I jogged upstairs and tossed the abandoned clothes on my bed. I went into the bathroom near my room and flicked the bright light on. I turned the water on and placed my hair under checking to see if it was right. When it was warm enough, I got my wash cloth and got in. I started washing. The water and the soap was feeling good on my aching skin. My mind drifted to what me and Sora just did. How could I possibly describe it? Did we make love, have sex? What? I know we didn't fuck. No, fucking was a quickie with no emotions attatched. My emotions were attatched to his when I did it. So did we make love? Was it even possible? I loved him and he loved me, but...

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard the curtain slide open. It was the one and only childish brunette holding a spare wash cloth. He quietly stepped in and closed the curtain behind him. We washed in silence. I mean, what could we say? Well I know I didn't know what to say. I took the small red sampoo bottle from a ledge in the shower, poured some into my hand, and massaged it into my hair. My back was facing Sora, so I didn't know he reached up to wash my hair. I turned and seen his smiling face. I loved his childish grin. So innocent. I smiled back and let him wash my hair. He massaged my head like a pro and I was beginning to nod off. I soon felt warm water massage my head as well and I felt the soap suds slide off my body.

I opened my eyes and he was still smiling. He seemed to smile forever. There was rarely a frown on his face.

Days have past since then I didn't go back into denial. It never crossed my mind to hate him again or deny him again. It seemed natural to me just love him and deal with it. One thing I wish I didn't have to deal with was talk to Kairi about me and Sora being together. She was my friend, our friend, and I didn't want to leave her in th dark. Of course she cried and said she hated me, but after a good week she forgave me.

It was now my parents' anniversary and they were getting ready to leave. My mother looked nice today, she had on a girly pink and white dress which was the complete opposite of her style. I guess she was trying to look like she did when they met. I don't know. My father wore a white shirt with some brown slacks. He looked nice as well. Just to be a good son, I gave them some balloons that said 'Happy Anniversary' in big goofy letters. Sora helped me pick them out.

I was sitting in the sand out back, thinking about going to that little island, when I heard some foot steps behind me. I turned and it was the usual face. As much as I seen his face, I still got a little excited to see him. He had a big box in his hands. I thought it was for my parents. "If your looking for them, they're in their room getting ready."

"No, this is for you."

My eyebrows rised. "Really? What is it?"

He walked over to me and placed the box in my hands. "Open it."

I looked up at him for a second and turned my attention back to the box. I ripped the blue and green wrapping paper and opened the tall slender box to reveal a lamp. I smiled. I guess he noticed the broken lamp in my room. "Thanks."

"Put it in your room. I want to see if it looks nice."

I sighed as I stood up from my comfortable position on the sand and walked in the house with the lamp in tow. We were walking up the stairs as the were coming down the stairs. My mother quickly noticed the lamp. "Sora, did you get that for him?"

He nodded proudly.

"You're such a nice friend to the both of us. You saved me money getting him another one." She ruffled his hair and continued down the rest of the stairs. My father laughed at her care for money and followed behind her. We went up the rest of the stairs and made a right to my room. I sat the lamp down on the small wooden side table.

"It looks nice, Riku."

"Mmhmm." I flopped down on my bed and sighed. I was just tired for no reason that day. I expected Sora to lay beside me, but he walked over to the lamp.

"You didn't even plug it up."

"Oh." I forgot about plugging it up. Sora unplugged the broken lamp to replace it with the new one. It filled up the dark room with light. He soon crawled over to me and laid his head down on my arm.

"We're about to leave guys. You know where the food is!!"

"Have a good night," Sora screamed down to them. The next thing I heard was the door slamming shut.

I played in Sora's hair and looked out the window. It was dark. But inside I had my light. Sora gave me his light and I no longer sat in darkness. He brought me out of my darkness. Sora was my light.

**_--...--_**

**That was the story. Did you like it? Was it good? I hope it was. I'm kind of nervous about this fanfic because I don't know if I captured Riku's personality in it. But I think it turned out nice. If you guys want, I write Sora's pov. It might take me a while to write it, but it will get here if you want it. So let me know what you think and one thing, NO FLAMES!! Flames are just cruel. So instead, I'd take some constructive critisicm and some happy reviews. THANKS!!**


	2. Sora's Story

**First off, THANX 4 ALL THE AWESOME REVIEWS!! I really enjoyed thme. I got a few requests to write Sora's POV and so here it is. This one might be a little weird because I was trying to make his story match Riku's and it's going to be sort of like deja vu, lolz. I know it was deja vu for me to write this. Also, I there is an extra lemon in this, but it's like half a lemon and it's not between Sora and Riku. I was going to add another lemon in it, but I didn't want to drag the story out any further than need. So I hope you enjoy this one as much as the first!! **

**_--...--_**

**_My Light_**

**_Sora's Story_**

I almost tripped as I ran down the stairs. I was in a rush and I didn't want to miss my silver. I bumped, and shoved, and pushed every person in my way just to make it out the door. I sighed, there were more people outside. I pushed past them as well and seen him at our meeting spot. My silver. I smiled. Where did I get that nickname from? I never called him that anyway. I made it over to my green eyed friend, a smile still plastered on my face. "Hey..." I was out of breathe, running from the third floor to our meeting spot wore me out. He smiled back. He always smiled back.

"Come on."

We started on our way home. It was always nice to walk with Riku, my silver. I blushed, I couldn't help calling him that. I turned my head and looked up at the sun so he wouldn't see my face. The sun was so bright and warm, I loved the light. Deep in the sun, I felt him punch my arm. I swiftly turned my head to him, his eyes gleaming. "Hey, what's the big idea Riku?"

He chuckled, his laugh echoing in my ear. "What are you staring at?"

"The sun."

He raised his eyebrows. "Why? Your eyes will get messed up from doing that. Don't do it anymore." I gave him a playful pout and looked ahead of us. I realized the sand was underneath my feet, crunching with every step.

"Hold on Riku."

I sat on the sand and kicked off my yellow and black shoes. I stood back up and sighed. I loved the way the sand felt underneath my feet and in between my toes. We walked in silence for a while and I was looking around, enjoying the view, when I seen his smile. I almost smiled at its beauty. Huh? Scratch that thought. Why would his smile be so beautiful? Why is it so beautiful? I shook my head. There goes my hyper active brain. All I really want to know is why he's smiling? And at me? "Why the warm smile?"

"Just noticing your fascination with those shoes."

I smiled and turned my head to look into those bright seafoam greens of his. "They're my fav."

"I figured. What happened to Kairi?"

I felt like I died inside. Two days before, I basically begged Kairi to swim with me. She wouldn't at first, but I just had to beg her. "She got sick after that swim we had last night. I kinda feel like I made her sick because I wanted her to swim with me." I felt so guilty about it. I didn't want to get her sick or nothing. I just wanted her to be with me since Riku wasn't there. Sigh, why did I have to be so selfish? I was looking down at the golden sand when I felt an arm fling over onto my shoulder and pull me close. His body felt so good, so warm, I couldn't help but lean into it and enjoy the feel.

"It's not your fault." I felt our bodies turn into another direction. I didn't question him. "Let's go to..." I didn't hear anything after that nor was I paying attention. I was in a complete trance. His body warmth was enchanting. I wanted to feel more. I snuggled up closer to him, not caring if he protested or not. I couldn't help myself. His body just seemed to radiate warmth that was so hypnotizing. It was never like this before. But I was glad it was like that. I wished it stay like that forever.

Next thing I knew, we were at Kairi's. She had on a green blanket. A blanket not as green Riku's eyes. There I go thinking about his eyes again. She gave me her usual kiss and hug. I blushed so hard. I loved her kisses, but I knew she was only being friendly. I couldn't use the same word to describe the hug and kiss. It seemed like she kissed him forever and her lips seemed to be close to his. It also looked like she hugged him and never wanted to let go. Sigh, my eyes lowered. I didn't want to see him hug her or vice versa. I just wanted to take her place.

Riku had left by now and I couldn't blame him. It was late, only the moon giving us sight. We were sitting by the shore in silence for a moment, just letting the water rise and recede on our feet. I was laying back, my fingers intertwined behind my head. Kairi was leaning back using her hands as support. The silence between us was calming and I wish we would've stayed in silence because the next thing that came out her mouth made me want to leave.

"Do you think I have a chance with Riku?"

If only I could grab my shoes and run. I wasn't that fast. Instead I answered her question with a question. "Chance like what?"

She giggled and I could tell by her laugh that her eyes were squinting. "Don't be silly Sora. I'm talking about like boyfriend and girlfriend. Do you think I'll have a chance with Riku?"

I sat up and positioned my body like Kairi's. I didn't want to look at her, but I did anyway. I gave her another question. "Well what do you think?"

She blushed so hard her face looked like a tomato. "I think so. He seems to like me some. I just don't know how to...you know...let him know how I feel."

"Just give some hint or something. I bet he'll catch on, no problem." I didn't want to hear what she had to say afterwards. I didn't want to see her blush over him anymore. So after that statement, I told her I had homework to do and left. I got home, defeated somehow, and sulked my way to my room. I tossed my bookbag near my window and sat on my bed. My crush liked my crush. That was weird. And how could I give dating advice to someone that I liked and about someone I liked. It sucked. I let the rest of my body fall on the bed. Here I am not letting neither one of them know how I felt about them...especially Riku. How could I let him know? What could I possibly do? Oh Riku, I've been in love with you since 10th grade and I still do and I just wanted to know if you feel the same. Err, I palmed my face, that was so cheesy. And I knew that would back fire anyway. Sigh. Which one did I even want? I mean, I liked Kairi, she made me blush everytime I seen her. But Riku was another story. Riku made me want to hold him for days and play in his hair. I wanted to kiss him as much as I could and hold his hand as we walked home. Simply, he just made my stomach flutter. And I had to let him know. Sorry Kairi. I sat up and looked at my little clock on my desk. 1:47. I flopped back down and kicked my shoes off. I was too tired to take anything else off.

I was anxious all day in school. I was shaking completely; hands, chest, voice, EVERYTHING! I was trying to hide my shakiness from him on our way home. I guess I did a good job because he didn't notice. All the while, I was pondering on what to do that day. I knew I had to tell him that day or at least do something to let him know. I still wasn't sure what to do, but I had a few ideas.

I decided to ask him to study at my house since we had an exam together. He obliged. Now that I had a place, all I needed was the action. I still didn't know what to do. If I screw up and not do anything, Kairi might get him first. Sigh, I was literally jealous of my bestfriend and it torn me up inside. But I knew I couldn't let him go. I just couldn't.

We were studying for a while, he was sitting up on the bed and I was sitting Indian style with the book resting in my lap. I looked over at him, he was buried into the book. I smiled and returned to my own book. I flipped a page as I looked out the window. Then I began thinking. The world was so big, but it was only a small part of something bigger. I always wondered if we're just a lonely species. Hmm, I asked Riku about. I know I couldn't be the only one thinking about things like this. I wasn't crazy. So I slammed the book shut and turned my body around in his direction, a smile on my face. He lifted his head out of the book, looked at me, and smiled. "You ever wonder if there's anything else out there?"

I noticed his eyebrows furrow and he tilted his head. "Out there like what?"

The look on his face confirmed it. I was crazy. "Anything beyond Destiney Island. Like other worlds and stuff?"

The book left his hands and I watched his fingers glide through his hair. My heart started beating a little faster. Watching him do anything made my heart beat fast. He was just enchanting by nature. "Sometimes. Like, I know we're not the only ones out here. The universe lasts forever; there has to be at least one planet similar to Earth." I sighed to myself. If I was crazy, at least I wasn't crazy alone.

"I was thinking the same thing." I got up from the bed and leaned on my window sill and stared at the soggy shore. "Sometimes I just look out this window just wondering if I could go to any of those worlds. To talk with the people there and see if they have ever wondered about other worlds too." I sighed with a smile on my face. I just had this good feeling inside. I always thought about other worlds, but never talked to anyone about it. It was nice to talk to someone about. I realized he didn't respond. I guess he didn't have anything to say after that. Hmm, Riku. What was I going to do? I had him in my room, by myself, and I was looking out a window. I swallowed and turned my head to look at him. He was studying. I smiled softly. I had to do something. And I did the only thing that popped into my head.

I left the window and slowly walked over to him. He never looked up. I stood beside him and just waited for him to acknowledge me. When I seen him look at me with those deep sea green eyes, I started getting nervous. My hands were the first to shake and the rest of my body followed. I really didn't know what to expect if I did this. But I had to keep going. I couldn't stop. I took the thick text book from his lap, dropped it on the floor, and sat on his lap. I put my shaky hands on his chest and it was nice and hard. I had seen his chest plenty of times when we went swimming, but it never struck me like this.

My chest rose and fell slow then fast and I felt my face get hot. I leaned forward and I could feel the tiny hairs on his face touch mines. It felt good, but it did very little to relax me. I just sat there. I couldn't move. I was thinking of all the pros and cons if I did this one thing. Would he like it? Would I screw up? Would he just sit there? Would I lose him to Kairi? Would I completely lose him? The last thought scared me drastically. I didn't want to lose Riku as a friend or potential lover. I just didn't. We been through too much for me to lose him. I was starting to second guess this whole thind. Maybe my satisfaction wasn't worth it. I felt like I didn't need to do this anymore. I'd just be content with keeping my feelings to myself. I looked at him, my eyes heavy. I was going to get off. But then I heard him speak.

"Hurry up with whatever you're going to do."

That sentence changed my mind. I gulped, swallowing my pride, friendship, and everything else I might lose, closed my eyes, and kissed him. Yup, I kissed Riku. But Riku didn't kiss me back. I quickly left his lips and stared at him. I decided to try just one more time; one extra kiss couldn't destroy me more than the first one did. I pressed my trembling hands on his chest harder as I kissed him again. I instantly got another warm feeling. I was happy. He kissed me back and he hugged me so close I could feel his heart beat. So much weight was lifted off of my shoulders and my nervousness disappeared. I kissed him deeper. We kissed deeper. His warm tongue graced my lips and my mouth instinctly opened to the touch. It invaded my mouth and it felt so good. My tongue crept its way into his mouth. His mouth was so warm and slickened with both my and his spit. I wish I could've been there kissing him forever.

Next thing I knew, I was pushed on my back. I was completely sprawled out on the bed. What just happened and why? I just sat there and waited for him to say something, but he didn't. He quickly packed his things, got off the bed, and left. When I realized he was really gone and wasn't coming back, I punched the bed. I screwed up. I just knew it would happen. I looked at the white door. I had to get him. I'd just pretend like none of this happened and just be his friend. Not his crush, lip locker, bed mate, lover, or anything like that.

I hopped off the bed and ran to him. I couldn't let him leave. I felt my mother's eyes glued on me as I ran out the door. I seen a shadowy silhouette. Nobody else was out right now, I just ran to it. It was just instict to run after him. My feet pummeled the sand as I tried to get to him. When I got to him, I grabbed his arm. I managed to stop him. I wanted him to turn around, but he didn't. My hands found their way to his hand and I started to rub his knuckles. I enjoyed the wave-like feel of his skin as they rose and fell over his bones. "Riku...come back and study with me." Right after I said that, my throat began to tighten up. I was going to sniff, but I didn't want him feeling sorry for me.

He began to move, but not towards me. He was walking away. I held on so tight and just kept walking with him. "Please come back and study with me." My throat tighten up some more. It was getting hard for me to talk now. We were still walking, ever so slowly. I didn't want to let go. I didn't want to lose him. But deep down, in one part of me that had already given up, felt like I already lost him and he was never coming back.

His hand escaped mines and I stood there with needles in my heart. I watched him walk away from me and when I couldn't see him anymore, I walked home with my head down. A lone tear dripped out of my eye like a leaky faucet. I sniffed. My eyes cried some more. My heart cried. God, I felt so broken and destroyed.

My eyes were red and watery by the time I made it home. My mother was cooking something in the kitchen. She turned and looked at me in all my shame. "Sora, what's wrong sweety?" She dropped the spoon and went to hug me. She cupped my head with one hand and held my waist with another. I didn't hug her back. It's not like I didn't want to hug her. I would hug my Mom any day. But I guess my body was just too weak. So my arms just hung there. "What's wrong Sora?" I shook my head. I tried to say 'nothing', but it only came out as a squeak. "Are you going to be ok?" I wanted to say yes, but I shook my head no. She gently rubbed my hair and sighed. "Dinner will be ready in a few." She let me go and went to go finish cooking.

I slowly walked upstairs and fell asleep with an empty stomach and pillow full of tears.

It was about a week since that day. And since that day, I've started staring. But not at just any random thing. No. It was him. Riku. I don't know why I kept staring, but I did. I just couldn't help myself. He was always the constant reminder of that great yet sad day. Everytime I looked at him, I had an instant flashback. And I sort of enjoyed it. I began enjoying my memories more than I enjoyed the present. Usually when I'd look at him he would be either working, sleeping, or catching my stare. And he'd look for a while with a question mark look on his face, then turned his face away from me.

Another thing I seemed to be doing since that day was draw and write. I'd draw pictures of my feelings and write what I had in my mind. Like if I were talking to Kairi, I'd just write it down as a little story. It kind of made me feel better. It got some of my feelings off my chest at least.

It was Thursday and I was starting to miss Kairi so I went to her house after waiting about fifteen minutes to see if Riku would walk with me home. Yes, yes I know. I sound like a desperate sucker for love, but I still wanted him. If I couldn't kiss him, I'd just smile as we walked home. But neither one happened.

Kairi answered the door munching on a piece of watermelon, some of its red juice sliding down her smiling face. "Hey Sora. I've missed you so much." I smiled.

"I missed you too." I walked into the very familiar house and sat on the couch. "When are you coming back to school Kairi? Starting to miss you in last period." She smiled and sat down across from me. Her smile was so pretty and the juicy watermelon was only a nice accessory to her smile.

"I'll be back tomorrow. I gotten better since the swim a while ago. I've just been chilling in the house since I guess Monday. Wanna piece?"

"Huh?"

She giggled. "Do you want a piece of watermelon? My mom brought a lot of it yesterday so it's fresh."

"Sure." I got up from the soft plush couch and dug through the refrigerator until I got the biggest reddest piece I could find. Yes, I know, I'm greedy. "Hey you know what? We should go for a little walk or something. It's nice out."

"That sounds great. Let me get my shoes."

I shook my head as I walked back into the living room eating the watermelon. "Forget your shoes. Hmm." I kicked off my shoes and socks. "We'll walk barefoot."

"That's great," she said with a smile. I couldn't help, but smile back.

We left the house, munching on watermelon, enjoying the sun hit our face and water gently crashing up against the shore. We were just walking, not having a destination really. We walked along the beach in silence and then we past his house. I wish we hadn't. I gulped so hard I thought I swallowed my tongue with it. I guess Kairi noticed his house as well because she wanted to let him come along. I made up some dumb lie saying we had gotten a report and Riku was still buried in work. She believed me.

Our walk relieved me a little. She told me about how her mother thought about getting them a dog and how she wanted to go shopping some time soon. I told her some stuff about what's been going on at school. I really didn't talk about myself too much. I didn't want her to know.

God I hate rainy days. It just makes the whole day sad and bleek. The thunder seemed like it was right in my ear and the lightning appeared to be cracking in my face. I sighed. I walked out of my room and went downstairs right in time. My Mom just got finished making some kind of noodle, fish, and vegetable dish. I guess she was trying something new out. At least it smelled good. I made her and myself a plate and we sat down at the small round table in the dining room. It was a quiet dinner until she broke the silence with a disturbing question. "What had you crying that day? It usually takes something kind of serious. Did Riku say something?"

"No."

"Did he do something?"

"No."

She sighed. I sighed too. I hate lying to my mother. It makes me sick. So I gave her a look that basically said he had either said or did something to make me cry that day. She simply nodded her head. "You'll be ok Sora. You always bounce back." She leaned over and pinched my cheek with a wide smile on her face. "You never let anything hold you down too long." I smiled with a mouth full of fish. I seen her smile widen and she began to giggle. Her laugh could cure anything.

After dinner, I went upstairs to my room, this time with my stomach nice and full. It was good for a first time dish. She should make it some more. I was lying on my bed, my hands tucked behind my head, staring at the ceiling. I listened to the dog and cat sized raindrops pound the roof like a mad man. Boom. Crack. Then the dogs and cats again. It sounded something like a chaotic yet hypnotic song. Something Beethoven would probably make. I sighed. I had nothing to do, so I just lie there staring at the ceiling. I felt a whoosh of air hit me, but I paid it no mind. Maybe I should've because next thing I knew, Riku was on top of me, pinning me down like prey. My eyes quickly widened. What was he doing here? What was he going to do? "Riku..."

"Shut up."

He took off all of our clothes like he was in a rush. I didn't stop him. I was still in a little shock. My legs were literally thrown over his shoulders. I seen him smile and I thought well ok, maybe he changed his mind about everything. That this was friendly, but rough. But his smile left as quickly as it came and I soon felt a sudden spike of pain.

"AAAAHHHHH!!"

He put his hand over my mouth, his eyes were angry. "Didn't I tell you to shut up?!" I just nodded. "Okay then, so do what I say."

Then the terrible ride started. He was digging into me and it hurt so bad. First off, it was dry and so his skin scraped at mine. Then it's not like I've every did this before, so it felt like he was forcing his way in and it hurt. I could feel my skin tearing a little and I cringed. But despite how I felt, my body enjoyed it. It seemed like it was commanding itself, just ignoring what my mind was saying. It tried to get all of Riku in and keep him in as long as possible. I moaned his name. I couldn't even stop myself.

"Shut up."

Why did he want me to shut up? Maybe it was because my Mom was downstairs and she'd hear me. I don't know.

I moaned his name again.

"Shut up!!"

His pretty sea green eyes were raging, almost like the storm outside. I didn't want to look at them anymore so I closed my eyes. I didn't even want to be underneath him anymore. I wanted to hit him or something just to get him off of me, but my body wouldn't let me. It wriggled and squrimed. I arched my back to his touch and I wish I hadn't because I was then flipped over on all fours with my head between his strong hand and the suffocating covers. I was trying so hard to breathe through all the cotton, but it was hard. With every violent stroke, my head was dove deeper into the covers. I was starting to choke, I thought he trying to kill me. Did I really mess up our friendship so bad whereas he wanted me dead? I couldn't even cry about that. My body was more focused on meeting his strokes and breathing.

My breathing slowed and my body became limb. Here it goes.

I was going to die.

But with a strong grasp to my hair, my head was lifted from the covers. I inhaled like I never did before. I coughed a little and I was glad to feel my chest rise and fall. That feeling didn't last long. With only a few breathes, my head was dove back into the dreaded covers. This was simply torture. He was grinding into oblivion and it was still hurting like hell. It stung so bad. My breathing was slowing again. I wanted him to just leave. I wanted him to get out of me and my room. Him touching me made me twitch and I didn't feel comfortable anymore.

My body cringed inside and I was starting to feel a little funny. It started moving a little different. I wish I hadn't because it gave him some kind of invitation to bang my body harder. I screamed. He went in harder and deeper. I screamed. God it hurt. My body trembled and I collasped underneath him. I came, and I messed up my bed and got some of it on my chin. I felt really dirty. Not from coming on myself, but just having Riku touching me felt dirty. I wished he'd stop, but he didn't. His hand left my head and he grabbed my hips, forcing my body to bang up against him. I turned my head to the side and inhaled deeply again. I could finally breathe.

He dug, and scraped, and pounded me till he came. It felt so weird. I could feel him explode in me. I had this weird full sensation. Right after he came, he left. It seemed like he left in a second. Good. My body fell and I curled up into a ball. I sniffed the air. It smelled so dirty and so stuffy, it made me go take a shower. I stayed in that shower forever. I scrubbed for days and washed my hair twice. When I was done, I went into my room. I noticed the storm get stronger. I hoped it would knock his house down. I stripped the bed of the dirty sheets, and fell asleep with my towel on.

Ever since that day, I was feeling like everything was my fault. I know you're kind of wondering why are you feeling bad when he did wrong, but if that kiss hadn't happened, _none_ of this would've happened. I would still be his friend and vice versa. I triggered all of this and, to me, it was all my fault. I felt like I had to do something about it. Like I had to explain myself, even if he wanted to hear me or not.

So on some random day when the sun was out bright, I went over to his house. His father greeted with a smile and told me Riku was in his room. He warned me that he has been angry lately and don't do anything to tick him off. I nodded and with his warning in mind, I went up to his room and softly knocked on the door.

"Come in."

I opened the door, but I didn't go in yet. "You sure you want me to come in?" Maybe he would change his mind since he knew it was me standing in the doorway.

"Come in," he said as he got up from his bed and went to go sit down some where else. I crept in his room and sat on the bed, frightened. My thumbs were swirling around each other and I didn't know what to do. I was nervous, scared, everything. I didn't know if he was going to attack me again or just sit there with an evil glare. I didn't know if he'd apologize or what. Not knowing what he was going to do, had me shaking for dear life. My breathing was shaky and I realized that I was kind of having a little breathing problem from the choking situation. I stopped fiddling with my thumbs and looked at him. His green eyes were calm...unlike that day. I sighed heavily and started. Here it goes.

"I'm sorry for ever forcing you into something you didn't want to do. I shouldn't have kissed you that night. I should've asked you before I did it. That was my mistake. Since then, I've been losing you and I don't want that. If it has to be, I want things to go back to normal. But I don't want it to be like it used to be. I...I want...I want to be with you Riku. I know that sounds odd and you'll probably hate me later, but I love you. And...I couldn't think of saying it to you earlier so I just had to kiss you and I'm sorry. So..." I stood up, walked over to him, and stuck my hand out. "Friends?" I smiled and I knew my smile wasn't my usual.

I thought my hand was going to stay there empty, but it didn't. He grabbed. "Friends." I smiled wider now. I was happy again. I had my friend back and then that's all I could've asked for.

Out of nowhere, I felt him grab the back of my head and pull me down to his lips. He kissed me. He kissed me this time. I felt my lips press up against his some more and his warm tongue slid in like a stealthy snake. I let my tongue creep in after his. I almost melted. His taste was so sweet and addicting. I could kiss him and taste his sweet mouth forever. His hand left mine and he pulled me to his chest. I let my body relax to his touch and I was now sitting on his lap, his body in between my legs. We lunged again and I could feel spit sliding down the side of my lips. This felt sooooo good. This was a lot better than the first time.

We parted and I looked at him for a while, my eyes darting from his eyes, to his hair, to his lips, to his eyes again. "Riku...why? I thought..."

I was silenced. He had placed his finger on my lips only to replace them with his extra soft pink lips. I held his face and kissed him a little deeper. This was perfect...this was bliss. I had him. He didn't push me off or choke me to death. He was just here and we were enjoying the taste of each other. A tear slipped out of my eye. I guess it had hit me harder than I thought. I realized that I loved him more than I thought. He meant a lot to me. He started to rub these magic circles in my lower back and I moaned in his mouth. I could be here forever.

We parted again and we just stared. And I could stare into his eyes forever. They were so beautiful. I loved how the light would hit them and make them sparkle. I loved how when he laughed, they would squint into perfect slits. I loved everything about them. I rubbed his cheek with my thumb and he closed his eyes to my touch. I smiled a soft smile. "I always loved your eyes...so green."

He smiled and I could tell it was genuine.

I wished that moment could have lasted longer so I could've had more to remember, because after that he ignored me again. Why would he always do that? And why did I always easily fall for him again? It was confusing. But I was used to it...sort of.

I stood at our meeting spot for a while. I don't know what possessed me to continue to stand there. I knew he wouldn't come, but I had to make sure. I noticed him walking; he was already far off walking in the sand. I sighed and dropped my head. I guess he wasn't coming. I lifted my head in his direction and he turned. He was going in some direction that wasn't the direction his house was. So I walked after him. I didn't approach him, but I just followed him. I was about a few yards behind him and I looked at the houses. I knew those houses. He was headed for Kairi's. I didn't fret though. Nothing was banning him from seeing her. She was absent again today even though she was there yesterday so maybe he was going to check on her.

I went behind this large shrub near her house and sat down. I was just going to sit and watch.

He knocked a few times and the door quickly opened to a bubbly Kairi. "Hey Riku." She had this odd smile on her face. So did Riku.

"Hey."

They went into the house and I heard them talking a little bit, then the back door slid opened. I quietly crept forward and ended up behind another little sections of hedges so I could see them out back. Kairi kissed his cheek and pulled at his shirt. The white uniform shirt came off and so did his pants and boxers. Riku kissed her neck as he slid off her yellow wife beater and her denim shorts.

They were in their underwear...but not for long. Her bra came off and he quickly went down to bite her nipples as he got her girly pink off. She moaned...and moaned...and moaned. She moaned like no tomorrow and he seemed to drink up her moans. He didn't even tell her shut up. Her just kept on biting her nipples. He left her nipples and let Kairi take off his boxers.

In no time, they were on the sand, him on top, grinding for days. She screamed and hollered. She wriggled and writhed. And he did nothing, but dig deeper into her. I felt my heart drop into my stomach. He didn't shut her up, turn her around or nothing. I closed my eyes, but they were soon opened when I heard her scream his name.

"Oh God Riku..."

I heard him snicker afterwards. He enjoyed it. They both did. She pulled at his hair. My throat tightened again. I didn't even get a chance to touch his hair. I sniffed. I didn't want to see anymore. I had to go. I quietly left their sex park and walked home. My head was racing with questions. How long had this been going on? Why did they do it? What started all of this? Was Riku doing this before he put those lips on mine? I touched my lips. I wish he didn't. I gulped hard. I wasn't going to cry. I was tired of crying. So I just bottled it up inside and wrote a story about it.

I had started bottling up a lot of things since then. I stopped crying. I stopped thinking sometimes. I stopped talking so much. I just drew and wrote. And I'd stuff all of them into the locker me and Riku shared. I didn't care if he seen them. I didn't care if anyone seen them. I stopped caring for a lot of things and my hair was one of them. My hair wasn't as spiky and it was dull. It fell out almost every other day. It was extrmemly brittle. But it didn't matter. Not to me anyway. My Mom asked me about it one day and I told her I don't know. I hated lying to her, but unlike last time, I just let the lie stay there.

One day, I heard the front door being pounded. I quickly ran to the door and answered. It was Kairi and she was crying. What happened to her? She fell into my arms and I was hesitant to hug her back at first, but my arms soon enveloped her small body. I held her close as I walked backwards and shut the door. She was crying so hard. Her tears were soaking the shoulder part of my sleeve. She sniffled a few times and exhaled heavily. I rubbed her back and sighed. "What's wrong Kairi?"

She sniffed a few times before she answered. "It's Riku." My body stiffened a little. What did Riku do? And did I care to hear what she had to say? "He...he stopped..."

"He stopped what?"

"He stopped loving me."

I sighed and kept rubbing her back. I knew what she was talking about. Riku probably broke it off with her out of blue like with me and didn't give her any explanation. "How?"

"We used to...you know...have sex and stuff...and...he just stopped. He didn't even let me know why or anything. He just left me...after he told me he loved me so many times."

That part kind of stung. He never said, 'I love you' to me. Maybe because he just doesn't love me. I swallowed that up like everything else and I sat her down on the couch. I gave her a box of tissues. She took one and dabbed her eyes.

"Sora, it really hurts you know. I mean...I do love him and all even if he did just leave me. I just want to know why."

I walked into the kitchen and got her some water. "You may never know." She just looked at me. That wasn't an answer I would've given her about three weeks ago before any of this happened. "But it'll be ok Kairi. Everything will sort itself out. Don't stress." I kissed her forehead. "Do you want something to eat?" She quietly shook her head. "Kay." I sat beside her and hugged her till she left. I knew that she wanted someone to hug and I was there so...yea.

It was Saturday. I wanted to race with Riku around the island with Riku, but I knew it wouldn't happen. Instead, I was sitting on my bed drawing. It was thundering and cloudy. It was a picture of that day. It was called Beethoven's Cats and Dogs. It was an ugly picture, but it brought back a sudden flashback. I couldn't contain myself anymore. My tears had to fall. They lightly fell as my chest rose and fell. I got off the bed and I let the paper sit on the bed. My body jumped as I hiccuped. My body fell to the floor with my legs spread. My tears stared falling a little more. I held my face in my cupped hands and hicupped a little more. And I started talking. Everything I had been wanting to say to anyone for so long just came out. I didn't have my usual two to talk to and I couldn't talk to my Mom about it so I talked to myself.

"I remember when I first seen your silver hair. I laughed because it was so weird. But you laughed at me because of my spiky hair. We laughed at each other. I knew we would be close and we have been since. We would sit near our tree and just talk. We would see who could swim the farthest before the other got tired. But now, we don't do anything. I wait for you every day to walk with me home and you never acknowledge me. One time I did follow you and noticed you at Kairi's. But you didn't go there to play a game or watch a movie. You guys went out back and..." My tears fell down like rivers now and I coughed a little bit. It hurt to say this, but I had to get it off my chest. My bottle was bursting. "You two were having sex. You didn't shut her up, you didn't turn her around. You even let her pull your hair." I sniffed. "I want to touch your haiirr." I held my face tighter and cried harder than ever. I was sniffing, coughing, hiccupping and everything. My breathing was irregular. I'd breathe in twice and exhale a long and heavy sigh.

I slumped over the bed, my knees on the floor, the upper half of my body on the bed. "You were there since the beginning. But now that you're gone, what's left of me? What's left of me now?" I knew the answer to that. It was nothing. And it made me cry harder. My head fell into my folded arms and I cried so hard I thought my face would burst. I didn't think I had that many tears and definitely not that much for Riku. My bed was turning into a water bed with all the tears I let out. I wiped my eyes and sniffed. God I missed Riku. I wanted to go see him, but I knew I couldn't bring myself to do it. And he wouldn't want to see me anyway.

I got up on my feet, still crying uncontrollably, and left the house. I heard my Mom calling after me, but I didn't care. I just needed to get to the island. I got there in about five minutes thanks to the calm waters. I sat by the shore and threw a rock into the water. I sniffed. Why couldn't my life be as calm as this island? It had to be odd an screwed up like that bent palm tree. Hmmm, I haven't been to that tree in a while. I walked the rickety wooden bridge to the tree and sat down on it. I smiled. This tree was only good memories and it always had this warm and welcoming vibe about it. It was peace and that's all I needed then.

Riku wasn't nowhere to be found for about two days. He was in school, but I stopped paying attention to him as much as I used to. I had come to terms with the fact that he didn't love me and that maybe he wouldn't love anyone based on the way he treated me and Kairi. And I was kind of tired of going through this weird cycle with him. I'd fall for him, get denied, fall for him, get denied, and it'll just keep going from there. It was getting tiresome and I wanted the old me back.

But that didn't stop me from standing at our spot everyday after school. I just wanted him to walk with me and bring things back to the good old days at the bent tree. And one day, I got that wish and more.

It was Tuesday and I was standing at our spot. He walked right past me and didn't say anything. I had gotten used to that. But what I wasn't used to was him stopping. He had stopped, turned, and held his hand out to me. I didn't even think twice. I ran to him. I just couldn't help myself. I pushed past every person and I kept reaching for his hand. It felt like I'd never get to him, but when I did, I hugged him tight. And I just started crying. I don't know why, but I did. He used one arm to hold my waist and the other gently rubbed my hair. I sniffed and fiddled with his hair. His hair was so soft and it felt like strands of silk. He rubbed my hair for a while and spoke. "You want to walk home with me?"

I looked up at him and seen him looking down at me. "Yes please," I said as I nodded. I seen him smile and he kissed my forehead. He gave me the same smile that he gave me that day we were in his room. We turned and started walking home. I grabbed his hand and turned my head. I seen so many faces staring back at us. I seen laughing faces, shocked faces, red faces, happy faces, appalled faces, and some with a combination of two or three of them. But one face stood out from the crowd. The face that had the deep ruby red hair framing it. It was Kairi's. She was looking at us, shocked and appalled. I mouthed an 'I'm sorry' and held onto Riku's hand tighter. He held my hand back.

We walked home like we used to and it was awesome. I took off my shoes like always and let the sand grace my feet as me and Riku talked about nothing. Through the entire walk, I kept a smile on my face and so did he.

He didn't walk me to my house like we usually did though. Instead, we went to his house. He asked me to come over so I did. I wasn't going to say no to that. When we got there, I dropped my shoes and bookbag by the door. I looked at the couch and had a bunch of memories come hitting me. I know Riku had to remember some of them. "You remember when we were small and we used to jump all over the couches?" He smiled.

"Yea I remember. We used to always get in trouble for it."

"And your mom used to get mad because we would get sand all on the couch." We laughed. I held my stomach and laughed a little harder at how his mother used to act. "Get your dirty feet off my sofa. Sora I swear I'll give you such a beating. And you Riku, I'll make sure you never sit again!!" Riku laughed his hearty laugh. He sat down on the couch. Our laughter died down and I went to go sit down beside him. We sat there in silence for a little bit until Riku turned his body and licked his luscious lips.

"What do you see in my eyes?"

"Your eyes?"

"Yeah, what do you see? What do you think about when you look into them?"

I didn't even think. I just started talking. "The sea. Not just its sea green color, but everything else about them. Sometimes they could be raging and something you don't want to coss paths with. But than you have the calm beautiful sea that you want to just dive in and swim in forever. That's what I think about when I look in your eyes." I noticed him smile. I guess he liked what I said.

"Really?"

I smiled back at him and nodded. Before I knew it, I was on his lap being literally consumed by his lips. I felt his tongue go over each one of my teeth and it grazed over my tongue as I slipped mines in. His mouth had its usual sweet taste. It had a taste that reminded me of oranges and strawberries. His mouth was a heavenly bowl of fruit. His strong hands gripped my butt and I squeaked out a yelp in his mouth. He parted and I pouted. Why was he stopping? "You like it when I do that?" I nodded and quickly dove down to his lips. I didn't want to be seperated from his rosey lips no longer than I had to. My tongue went back into his mouth and it went everywhere. He squeezed my butt again and I let him swallow another one of my moans. My fingers glided across his face and went into his silver mane. God, I loved his hair.

He pulled me closer and made those magic circles in my back. I couldn't hold back another moan. He bucked his hips into mines and WOW was it good. I could kind of feel his hard-on rub against mine and it felt so good. I left his lips and inhaled through clenched teeth. "Again Riku...again..." He gave me what I wanted. He ground his pelvis into mine again. The friction between us was so good. I couldn't wait to take his clothes off and feel the real thing. My face got hot and red and I started panting like I just ran track. I had one arm around his neck and the other on his thigh behind me, so when he rocked up, I could grind down and feel a little more. I looked down and enjoyed the way it even looked.

But he stopped. That got me a little mad. But then he started to unbutton my shirt. And he did it so agonizingly slow. I looked at him unbutton each button slowly and I could feel him drinking in my skin. Him staring at me like that made me harder than I thought possible. I bit my lip and grinded it under my lip anxiuosly. When he finally unbuttoned the shirt completely, he held the back of my neck with his right hand and gently slid off the shirt. He started to lick and nibble on my neck and I couldn't help, but grab his hair. His teeth grazed my heated skin and it drove me crazy. Everything he did drove me crazy. If I wasn't careful, I would've came all in my boxers before we really got started.

As he kept on bruising my skin, he started to undo my navy blue pants. My erection smacked his fingers when he was done. My thin boxers couldn't possibly hold me back. I heard him laugh a little before he spoke. "Stand up for me." I didn't think twice. I quickly stood up and went to go slide my pants down when he stopped me. "I'll do it." His husky, breathy voice made my body hot and I wanted him so bad. I felt my face get so hot and I knew I was blushing super hard.

I don't know when Riku was able to make my body hit back flips and cartwheels, but God he was making me want to explode.

He nipped at my belly button and my hips. My head fell back as I closed my eyes. If his teeth could do this I wonder what the rest of his body can do.

His teeth left my skin. I was a little disappointed when he did that, I guess he was good at leaving me wanting more. I looked down and seen his fingers seductively undoing his belt buckle and unbuttoning his pants. As he was pulling down his pants, I seen that very green I loved to look into. "...green..." That sea green was always so addicting. Not as mesmerizing as his silver hair, but close enough.

When the demon pants were finally off, my eyes widened and I inhaled heavily. Wow he was big. No wonder it hurt last time. How did he fit all of that in? I don't even care, I just wanted to be filled again.

"Come here."

I was snapped out of my trance due to his naked body and tried to walk over to him, but I tripped a little. I looked down and realized that my pants and boxers were at my ankles. I hadn't realized they were even down there. I guess I was just too wrapped up in him to pay any attention. Riku laughed hard at my clumsiness. "Take them off silly." I gave him a lopsided smile and slid my deserted clothes off my ankles. I sat on his lap afterwards and stared into his eyes. His eyes were so beautiful to look into.

Riku began to play with my hair and it felt so good. His fingers felt good in my hair and I closed my eyes to his touch. This moment...this moment right here...was what I wanted from the beginning. This was what I've been wanting. Ever since 10th grade...ever since that kiss. This was all I wanted...Riku with me, loving me. You know how people say, 'Go to your happy place'? This would be my happy place...now and forever.

He pulled me close and nuzzled my face. I could feel the soft little hairs on his face graze mine and it made my body shudder. His face was nice and warm, just like the rest of his body. He stopped nuzzling my face and placed his forehead on mines.

"I love you."

That shocked me. My face got really hot and my eyes were on the verge of pouring over. I don't know why, but Riku had like this spell on me to just make me cry. Sometimes he'd do the simplest thing and I'd start crying. It was weird crying near him all the time. I sniffed. I didn't expect him to say that, _ever_. Was he serious? I had to make sure. "Really?" Please say yes.

"No joke."

I sighed. I got everything I wanted then. Literally everything. "I love you too."

We kissed a while before he parted. "You ready for me to take you to another world?"

I was so confused. Why would we be leaving to another world now of all times...and how? I didn't want to leave. I gave him a confused look. "Which one?"

"You'll see. Are you ready to go?"

Just the fact that he wouldn't tell me where we would go, made me automatically know what he was talking about and I couldn't help but smile a small smile. "Yeah." I felt his warm arm wrap around me and he gently laid me down on my back. He kissed me and got off of me. "Where are you going?"

"To get some lube."

"...oh..." Wow that was just straight-forward and blunt. I rolled over on my stomach and watched his nicely shaped and built body jog up the stairs. Hmm...all this happened because of a kiss. A simple kiss. A kiss that could've destroyed everything. But it built so much. It built a stronger beautiful relationship with Riku. And it built some kind of light inside me. I felt so much better near him...or even just thinking of him. He gave me a warm glow that made my whole body just sparkle. Riku...geez. I smiled and shook my head. His name even...

"Got it."

My thoughts were interrupted as I seen him wave the small white bottle of lube in his hands. I allowed him to flip me over and put my legs on his shoulders. I heard the squishy sound of the lube squeezing out of the bottle and into his hand. Then I got the rush of cold and I cringed. Wasn't expecting that.

"What's wrong?"

"It's cold."

He smiled and threw the lube bottle somewhere either in the living room or the kitchen. I felt his head lightly graze me and I couldn't help myself. I didn't want this to end up like last time with me looking death right in the face. So I just blurted it out. "I won't say anything this time." He paused and I swore he was about to hurt me. He swept my hair across my forehead and sighed.

"Don't worry about it. Do what you want."

That was a weight lifted off my shoulders. I sighed and smiled. I couldn't wait to scream and moan his name.

"You ready?"

I nodded and in no time, I felt a sharp pain. "AAHH!!"

He immediately, a little shaken, and looked at me. "What's wrong?"

"It...it still hurts from last time. You left me a bit scarred up." I completely forgot about those scars. I literally couldn't sit down for a while because it hurt so bad.

"Oh...I'm sorry."

"Just go a little slower."

He nodded and started to go slowly. I felt everything...and it hurt like hell. From when the tip pushed its way through to the point when he filled me completely. My head flew back as I sucked my teeth. I didn't tell him to stop though. I didn't want to. I wanted him to keep going because I wanted to feel all of him. And I knew it was going to feel so good.

I felt my toes graze his silky hair and I wiggled my toes. I felt his body go in reverse and he started to slide out. I couldn't resist, I had to moan. And I'm glad I did because he thrusted in a little harder and deeper. I moaned again. His thrusts were magic. They felt so good and made all the pain disappear. I could care less about the now slight pain. All I cared for was for him to dig deep, dig hard, and not stop digging in me.

He swung his hips into mine and I arched my back and moaned. A moan escaped my lips with almost every heavenly pelvic thrust. I couldn't stop. I didn't want to. I don't think Riku wanted me to stop either. He seemed to drink up every moan that I let pass my lips. I opened my eyes to look in his face. His sex face was simply sexy. His face was scrunched and he looked down at himself grind into me. That made me start panting. His face was making me hotter than I thought possible. I flung my head back again onto the arm of the chair. While my eyes were glazed with lust and love, I felt something warm and wet lick my tongue. I licked his back. It was different, but it felt good. He left my tongue wanting more as he clasped my hands and put them beside my head. I rubbed his knuckles like I did plenty of times before.

Out of nowhere, I got this bright flash in my eyes and this rush of pleasure that seemed to spike out of nowhere. I let out a howling scream. I knew the cranky old lady next door could hear me.

"What," he asked breathily.

"Hit...again...please..."

He had me begging and speaking in such a weird broken language. That was good. At least I could actually say something this time. Riku met my pleading demands and hit my pleasure spot countless times. I got the flashing white lights every time. I was traveling. I was traveling to that world Riku was talking about. It was such a beautiful planet.

I felt him drive in faster than earlier and I didn't mind. The pain was gone and I was kind of getting tired of the slow thing. Skin smacking skin echoed throughout the house. It was music to my ears. I leaned forward and gripped his hair tight. I moaned and pulled his hair as he plunged into me. Now I see why Kairi loved to pull his hair. I started panting from the lusty air around us and sweat trickled down my face. Riku pushed my legs closer to my head, allowing him to dig deeper and hit my spot with more intensity. My mouth hung open a little bit and as I inhaled, I inhaled some of his breathe. It felt so good.

My body fell back onto the couch, but I didn't let go of his hair. I don't think I was ever going to let go. With my eyelids heavy and me barely seeing a thing, I seen Riku lean down towards me. His nose touched mines as he placed his candy lips on mines. I let go of his bangs, but to only palm a handful of hair in the back of his head. His tongue attacked my mouth and mines went into his. His automatically won the battle of dominance. He licked my tongue and teeth and soon left my lips. Riku grabbed my legs and started to drive into me harder. I moved my body in a way to meet his slams right on time.

I opened my eyes as much as I could and seen Riku looking down at my body. He seemed to be admiring every inch of my sweaty body and it made me hotter to know that he couldn't keep his eyes off me.

"Riku...ah Riku..."

Through my half lidded eyes, I seen a slight smirk spread across his sweaty pink face. He began to thrust into me so hard now that my head was banging the arm of the chair. My body shuddered. My insides were twitching and tingling differently than earlier. My hands gained a mind of their own and started grab at anything in sight. They found their way to Riku's bangs again and pulled on tight. My face srunched up and I screamed louder than before.

"Ahh Riku Riku Riku Riku AH!!"

I exploded. I fell back onto the couch and I came all over myself. I noticed a little got on Riku's chin. I shaking as if I had a seizure. I couldn't control myself. I just couldn't stop shaking and trembling. I couldn't breathe right. It was so irregular, trying to regulate it just made it worst. The white flashes came again and hints of gold came along with it. The faded and all I could see was silver. It was his silver hair. Riku began to shake now, and then he grumbled a screwed up version of my name and collasped onto my chest. He said my name...this was bliss. My legs fell to either side of his body. We exhaled at the same time and sucked in each others breathe when we inhaled. I felt so connected to him. It was weird. I never had any connection like this before.

I quickly held the back of Riku's head and pulled him close to me. My fingers twirled around idle strands of lustrous grey as my chest began to rise and fall like it normally did. Riku lifted up a little, my hands still in his hair, and gave me a mischievous grin. "You liked the new world you went to?" A blush cascaded my face and I nodded. "We can go again if you want." I smiled and continued to play in his hair. My fingers seemed to not want to leave the soft strands. His head fell back down onto my chest, obviously drained. I sighed. The after sex glow was all around us. I could feel it. I could see it. It enveloped us. It wasn't leaving any time soon. "Sora, come on. We gotta clean up," he said in a groggy voice.

He got up and tossed his clothes over his shoulder. "Get your clothes and put em in my room."

"Kay."

He went upstairs after that. I lifted myself up and just sat there for a while. I looked down at my chest. The warm liquid was still on my chest. I swiped some off and just looked at it sit on my finger tip. I giggled. Only Riku could make this stuff come out. I chuckled a little more as I picked up my clothes and went into his room. As I tossed my clothes on the bed, I noticed a broken lamp. He was sitting in darkness this whole time. I'd have to get him another.

Rushing water came to my ears and I walked over to the bathroom. I took out a spare wash cloth from the closet and pulled the shower curtain back. We locked eyes for a minute before I went in a began to wash. We washed in silence with no eye contact. I didn't like it too much. So after I washed myself, I set my wash cloth down and went up to Riku to wash his hair. He turned around and seen me smiling. He smiled back and I seen his eyes sparkle. They soon disappeared as he began to nod off to my touch. I giggled to myself. I washed his hair a little bit and rinsed it out. He opened eyes and seen me still smiling. I giggled and leaned in to kiss him. He kissed me back.

This was more than just a happy place; this was my sanctuary.

Plenty of those warm feelings came after that day. Riku didn't go into hate-Sora-relapse. He always came over and I sometimes stayed over his house. I finally got up the courage to tell my Mom about us. She smiled and I remember her saying, "I kind of felt it after all the times you were crying. But no matter who you like...or love, you're still my son and I love you." I was glad she was accepting of us. I don't think Riku told his parents yet, but he'd have to eventually. One person who wasn't to accepting was Kairi. Me and Riku told her about it and she broke into tears. Riku told her he was sorry, hugged her for a while and left, saying there was nothing he could do to change her feelings.

Kairi was really mad at me that day.

"You knew I liked him Sora...you knew. And you went and took him yourself. You should've...at least told me that you liked him...at least I would've known."

"I'm sorry Kairi, but after that night with me telling you to give him a hint, I just thought I should give it a try. I know I was being a real backstabber and a terrible friend, but to be honest with you Kairi, I was jealous of you."

She sniffed. "Jealous?"

"Mmhmm. I thought he liked you the whole time and I knew you liked him so I thought you two would end up together. So I just tried to see if he liked me or not. Just to see if I was the one he wanted or not. And with all the times he denied I thought he didn't like me at all. I thought he was just toying with me because he knew I liked him."

She shook her head and walked away from me.

"I don't know how many times I can say sorry, but I'll say it forever if I have to," I yelled after her. I don't know if she heard me or not. I hoped she did. She did hold a grudge against me and Riku for a while. Doing things like slamming the door in our face _when_ she finally decided to open the door for us; giving us the evil eye; completely ignoring us. She eventually got over it, thank God.

It was about 4 in the morning and I was awaken by the heavy tapping at my window. It sluggishly got out of bed and seen my silver on the other side of the window. I lifted it up completely and rubbed my eyes.

"Hey love."

"Mmmm, what time is it?"

"It doesn't matter, just come on."

"Mmhmm." I turned around to walk out my room and walk out the front door, but he grabbed my arm before I was able to turn around.

"No stupid, you don't want to wake your Mom. Come through the window."

"Mmhmm." He helped me out the window and down the huge tree. He held my hand as we walked across the sand. "Where are we going Riku," I asked as my rubbed my eyes some more.

"You'll see."

We ended up on the raft and I fell asleep as he rowed through the calm waters to the island. "Wake up."

"I'm up, I'm up." I clung to his shirt as I got out of the raft. He held my hand again as we walked along the passageways. I heard the rickety wooden bridge under our feet and seen our bent tree ahead of us. When got to the little semi-island, he sat down, placing me in between his legs. We sat in silence for a while and I was about to go back to sleep when I felt warm kisses grace my neck and shoulder. "Mmmm..." Riku stopped kissing me and placed his chin on my shoulder.

"Pretty isn't it?"

I knew what he was talking about. Dead ahead of us was the bright pinkish orange sun gradually coming above the water. I never seen a sun rise before. I've only seen it set. I nodded and leaned my head back and it landed on his shoulder. He clasped my hands and wrapped his arms around my waist, engulfing me in eternal warmth. This was made me happy inside. I got to see my first sun rise with my silver. This kind of small thing, things just so simple and clean, were things that made my heart warm up instantly. I felt Riku kiss my cheek and sigh.

After the kiss, the only thing I remembered was the sun rising, my silver's warm embrace, and the calm sea. Hmmm, I still called him my silver. I'll start calling him that out loud when he found a nickname for me.

**_--...--_**


End file.
